Maebius Musings

The kid made up a song for his spelling words and we recorded him singing it. He wanted to share it with everyone, so hopefully this works….
(link to the video if the embed does not work:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_iwP9pb5CU)

This week’s spelling words, made into a song, to the tune of “Loony Tunes”.

Lyrics:
I do NOT want to play with you,
I sent you a NOTE.
Bunnies just HOP around,
I’ll get to school I HOPE.
I’m fishing with my new ROD
I RODE in the car.
TOT is for toddler,
you put things in a TOTE.
I take a bath in the TUB,
straws are mini-TUBEs.
Everyone knows what a bear CUB is,
at school we have a CUBE.
US means you and me,
we USEd up the ice-cream maker.
I can CUT with scissors,
my mother thinks I’m CUTE.
I eat BECAUSE I’m hungry,
your letter is FROM meeeeee——————————————————-!

Quick blog post as there’s lots swirling in my head that needs to filter down, but for now, I wanted to post and get in the habit of posting regularly here again…

This past weekend has been interesting, and rather tiring, but all in a good way.

Saturday, I drove to Rochester for another fire-walk, which was a smaller group than the one at my own house, but was nice. More intimate, and seemed to connect better with each person, probably due to the smaller numbers.
The fire was great, and I was chuckling with the hostess about how the coals seemed “colder” as they glowed under our feet. This of course was most likely due to my own energies being much higher.

Before the walk, I also bent a 6ft length of 1/2 inch Rebar (steel rod). Similar to this video. It was absolutely scary, but so inspiring after I had done it. Truly a sense of “you can do anything if you put your mind to it.” I can simply not put into the proper words right now how frightening it was to look down the length of cold metal sticking in my throat… and again how absolutely Amazing it felt when it bent and I hugged David (the man on the other end of the rebar).

Since I was not distracted by playing host, like I had been when the walk was on my property, I was able to let go a little more, and really focus on the fire, our Intentions, and all that. Thus, the coals seemed not hot at all.

At one point, I even made an effort to walk immediately after they were re-raked, along a little trail of piled extra-glowing coals. Never felt a spot of heat, no “kisses” from the coals, and quite amazingly un-phased other than the heat revving up my Joy even further. I was In The Zone, and it felt wonderful.

After the walk, I got to spin my fire-poi a bit, with hand-drumming accompaniment, which was AWESOME! I’m finding that spinning really is a moving meditation, if I get my mind in the groove for it. Similar to drumming all night around a bonfire. It’s Prayer-on-fire. AWoo!

Pretty serious intense work, that stuff though. I was wiped out afterwards and was a tough 3-hour drive home afterwards. Whereas drummnig all night is energizing, Firewalking seems to be really “Transformative Work”, instead of “Sacred Play”. They both have their benefits, but it’s kinda neat to notice the differences and shifted focus required for each activity

* * *

As for the horses portion of the title, Sunday, after the firewalk, we stopped by to visit a nearby stable.

One of the people I know at work had mentioned to me late last week that she had a horse which needed a good home. She was well kept, and very trained, but the price of the stable had gone up, winter was coming (so more $$ for grain, etc), and she had not had time to even visit her Equine much in the past few months due to other family priorities. She knew my wife had horses on our property, and since auctions would just sell off her horse to the highest bidder, she’d rather ask around for a local place to visit and know the horse would be loved.

I, myself, am still really nervous around horses. I can feed them, and brush them, and such, but the thought of actually riding them makes me nervous and tense. Still, learning to ride a horse was something on my “bucket list” when I met my wife, which sadly is still on my list. So I offered to go meet “Jackie”.

When we arrived, she was saddled up, and My wife put the horse through the paces, trotting, running, steering around the open field, and such. Then she asked me to hop on and walk around a bit.

Surprisingly, I learned really quickly that this horse would listen to me. (I’ve never ridden a REALLY trained horse, which may contribute to my fears.) I’d drift the reigns to one side, and the horse turned to that side. No “yanking their head around” needed, like our still-in-training horses. Wow!

I’d touch my heel to her side, and the horse began to trot. I’d say “Woah” and without even pulling back, she’d slow to a walk. double-wow! (At this point, I’m sure you folks who know horses are jsut shaking your head with a smile, laughing at how silly it sounds to hear a trained riding horse actually follows instructions, but it was new to ME.)

Long story short, I actually kicked her into a fast lope. That scared me, so it didn’t last long.

However, the surprising thing, and main reason why we are taking this horse home with us soon, is that the fear I had moving fast was not directed at the Horse. All my past fears were concern that this wild animal I’m sitting on was going to hurt me, even accidentally. With Jackie, I wasn’t afraid of her at all. I was worried that my untrained riding skills would make me fall or lose my balance, but it was totally directed inward, rather than externally.

For a few second there, in the middle of “EEEK! I’m gonna fall off!” was a grinning Joy. I was riding! Same joy I felt after walking coals unscathed. This was awesome!

Click the little thumbnails for larger pictures!

…So now I’ll be learning to ride a horse properly. Firewalking really does Transform the walker.

SEA / AHO! <3

The kid turned seven today! Sadly, we’ve all been fighting the plague for the last (literally) two weeks and it’s just not leaving us alone, but it’s better, with a drawn-out sniffly blah lately, but functional waking at least. I wanted to do a bit more “coming of age” type stuff, but that may wait until Halloween party and such to mark the age-growing better with a bonfire and such.

However, I’m not here to rant about our health. I’m here to share the fun that was his birthday breakfast and gifts, because I’m feeling like a Proud Papa today.

He got three gifts, two of which were a surprise, one was specifically asked for. The fun part was that he had to follow a trail of clues around the house to get all three gifts.

• A Kung Zhu hamster, Thorn, from the Skull Tribe of ninja warriors…
• A foam “battle staff” suitable for frequent trampoline battles with me, and his friends. (He’s actually been practicing staff-combat with a length of PVP pipe and gotten surprisingly smooth and fluid! I sense great things here for martial artistry…
• A pre-owned copy of Cooking Mama: world kitchen, for the Wii, because he loves to help cook.

The clues read as follows:

At your birthday breakfast, you are reading this note,
To start on a scavenger hunt that is fun.
So first you should go read the next clue I wrote,
on the cage of the six baby buns!

The bunnies are cute, the bunnys are furry,
The bunnies need water to drink.
So I would go downstairs in a hurry,
and look in the kitchen _____!

You’ve probably noticed the staff that bends air
which is not the only surprise for you.
So I’d go look in front or under the green chair
for the next scavenger clue.

The bunks beds that have a few Mjollnir toys hanging
are the next stop on your quest.
But watch your head, do it’s not banging,
on the bottom of where you rest.

Where we eat is a table, that is made of wood,
Which your puppy likes to also eat under.
So the next clue should be there, so look real good,
Where could it be, I wonder???

When done playing outside, and covered in dirt,
you need to get clean and scrub.
Before you can eat dinner, and then a dessert,
So you should wash up in the ______.

You found this clue now, so you really are smart!
One more step to the final gift from Dad.
Old paint is where you should look to start,
you will love it and not be sad.

There are a few things that may not make sense to readers not familair with our house layout and contents, but he got each clue right away and was grinning from ear to ear by the tiem he was on hte last clue, before the actual wrapped gift itself was found.

Guess it was a pretty nice start to a birthday. <3

The barn roof is a good way cleared, with just the final wall section to be knocked out. Unfortunately, that part is somewhat on-hold until the Electrical repair people come and help us, because that particular part of the barn is where the power meter and wires come in to keep electricity running to our house.

Soon, though, Very Soon!

Still quite a lot of work to do yet, but compare it to this earlier in the spring…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfCkbe…
and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcYXCk…

The kid’s been getting quite creative with adventures outside, turning our yard into a vast forest full of dragons and Pokemon(tm). His latest adventure, with Pikachu, the thunder-mouse Pokemon, was to find a stash of Thunder Apples, the only food Pikachu will eat.

Also, they are learning rhymes at school, so he had me help write down the “secret riddle” to help us find the thunder apples. I repeat it, with his permission below. So if you ever visit us, perhaps you’ll be able to find the treasure also! Enjoy!

When you walk into the yard you will see a tree.
But when you look up do not look for a bee.
If you do not look at the bee, you will be led to the smiley-face tree.
Next to the tree you will be on the other side.
And you will find another tree with great pride.
And that tree with great pride will have a tire-eye.
Then you walk back to the tree with two eyes.
and back again to the tree with a tire-eye
because there you will find the prize!

Now, for those who have not seen our yard, we have a pine tree with a smiley face Like these on it, and another with a small tire-swing. Thus, the tire-eye and smiley trees.

How fun!

This phrase has been stuck in my head for a few days now, starting while I was inspired to make my “Wild Place” in the yard, and then reading a mere day later in a Percy Jackson novel that the Pan of that story dies. “Grover finds Pan and learns the truth about his disappearance and that he, the God of Wild Things, must fade away and leave the job of making the earth green again to Grover, Annabeth, Percy, Tyson and everyone else on the planet. ”

This resonated with me all week, in light of our barn collapsing, which makes the property look decidedly less ‘Green-natural’ and more ‘trash-heap’ until it gets cleared up. In true microcosm/macrocosm fashion, this just keeps reminding me what a mess we’ve made of things, and how nice it used to, and will look again.

I helped create the BP oil spill after all, by continued use of petro-commercialism, as Anne said recently. I also helped set aside a patch of yard to be tended respectfully and minimally, and am looking into composting toilets and rainwater collection barrels. Each of us has potential for Change, both good and bad.

So, it seems this moon cycle is one where I find myself musing upon Pan more often than not. Pan in his many facets of untouched wilderness, his voice of Panic, and his [pro]creative drive.

Strangely, I have never been one to ascribe to any particular Pagan-themed diety in this manner. After a solid Lutheran upbringing, with appropriate Christians-tinted faiths, my own Pagan path has tended more towards generic elementalism, pantheism, and non-specified Druidic leanings. (Plenty of explanation of my spirituality on this blog’s archives.)

I had a brief stint of Faerie-slant which still sticks with me a bit. But the Gentle Folk are no gods. Otherwise, I’ve generally paid mere lip-service to other cultures’ Deities in acknowledging their existence on some level, but never joining their ranks. I liken this to knowing the Governor of Minnesota exists, but living in New York, if that makes sense. Yet everywhere I’m looking lately, I see horns. My own facebook page photo, for example, then wearing those self-same horns for fun while working outside last week “to be silly”. Looking back, are those silly head-decorations becoming something totemic? I don’t think so, but still, I’ve had them for years and never worn them much before now.

I even found my penny-whistle while cleaning up our closet on Thursday, and enjoyed waking some sleepy half-memories in my muscles by trilling a few songs out off my fingers. It’s no pan-pipe obviously, but the symbolism is surprisingly apparent when seen in retrospect, as they weren’t done with Pan in mind at the time. It’s interesting.

Did any of you readers with a more personalized relation with a particular Higher Power approach things in a similar manner, or were you off searching for a name specifically? Or, I suppose in other words, did you find your connections, or did They find you?

I also wonder if I’m just reaching for synchronisms that aren’t there. A bit of spiritual Apophinia, perhaps?

I also wonder if the webmistress of “The Gods are Bored”, or a Druid’s Apprentice, could get me a proper interview with Pan? *chuckle*

So, while I’m musing on all things goat-boyish, here’s two songs to entertain you. I just re-listened to them at work, which brought me merrily through that afternoon doldrum that hits around 1:30.

Enjoy. (and thanks to Nettle for sharing the songs initially with me recently!)

http://www.youtube.com/v/uxCPkg_Ee3Q

http://www.youtube.com/v/hztAzxNdL8c

Last night, I started to prepare and set aside a small limnal patch of our back yard.   It is near the pond, and generally surrounded by wild thorns and sumac saplings, and situated in a way that makes it pretty difficult to mow or tend.  It’s farther from the house and not part of “grass yard” and not included in the fenced pasture for our horses due to the surrounding topology.   It’s a “junk patch” as someone once called it.

However, I had dreamed about this patch twice now in the past week.   The first, was the night I was trying to find a good location for a small Faerie Garden, or place to build a small Faerie-house.   In that dream, I was a rabbity creature caught in the thorns nearby and eventually settled into that spot to rest and recover, before hopping “home”.   The second time was last night, after a meditation on the Gulf Oil Disaster and lighting a candle to honor those beings who will lose/have lost their lives already for our greed.

In that second dream, I was not not there physically.  I merely watched, an invisible witness, as that patch of land grew from bare soil, filled with clover and sorrell and yellow dock, then got choked out by Motherwort, and eventually became an impossible full forest of minitature trees, with tiny fae-homes like the Ewok’s Village, or Lothlorien.

Thus inspired, I am in the process of trimming the thorns, slightly, but otherwise going to leave this parcel of dirt untouched.  It will be cleaned up of any litter and trash over the next week or two. (There’s a few bits of garbage from ancient farm-days in the crevices between the rocks. Rusty nails, broken glass and the like.  Not much, but some.  Folks from rural properties know the sort of thing I mean here, probably.)

After a sort of purification of the place, it will be allowed to grow and florish, as Nature deems suitable.   In times of extreme drought, I will spray it with the hose lightly, if we need to hose for our garden-proper.   If random winds blow refuse into it (roadside trash is an ever-present problem on our backwater street), it will be removed.    Otherwise, I promised the land it would be Wilderness.

To passers-by, no one will notice it.  Just another rough patch behind an old house.  I doubt I’ll feel called to decorate it with baubles and fae-toys (but am leaving the possibility open)  For now, it will be sanctified.

I’d still like to find the perfect spot to create my own “Shrine of the Mists“, with a different name.  Something formal, and such.  But I’m feeling kinda awesome about seeming asked by our land to “Leave this alone, and Love it”.

I’ll have pictures once it’s cleaned up properly, and walked away from on the New Moon.

No deep musings for this post, simply a list of links to photos and youtube videos from the recent whale watching trip, soccer game, and such…

The sharks smile as they swim past in the big tank at Boston Aquarium:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsyRTXJeEs4

Jellyfish (Pacific Sea Nettles).  The photo didn’t turn out nearly as well, which is sad, since I wanted it as a potential background for my PC.  Very relaxing to watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JcKna8bnAo

A whale feeding, just off the starboard side. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYBS1fJZJpw

Another whale, making the bubble net and feeding, then diving back underwater. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZAthIq3UZk

The kid, playing in the fountain near Quincy Market, Boston.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT2oVbcZ_bM

Sprogling’s first soccer game.  We were “Those parents” who yelled and cheered, and I even tried to get the others to do ‘The Wave‘.  Sadly, the other parents tended to mostly sit on their chairs watching, or chatting on cell-phones, or reading. *sigh*    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RARh3qX_tes

Kid throwing the ball back in-play after it went out-of-bounds.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O75XtDRQxhg

Photos:   During the Soccer game.
The penguins at the aquarium.
A seal, at the aquarium.
Happy Kid, after playing in the fountain.
Happy Maebius, eating with a tasty brew.

Yes, the typo is intentional in the topic.

Photos and pictures to come later, but we returned from a really fun time in Boston for a whale watch.  I’ll summarize here, and post links and photos in a second blog entry this week.  Work’s busy and the evenings are still filled with barn de-construction. 

The bus left at 4:30am on Saturday, and we returned home just after midnight.   Loooong day.

Once we arrived at the harbor, we boarded the large catamaran boat and headed out to sea.   I liked all the little islands we passed in the harbor, and the view of Fort Warren.  The trip out to sea took about an hour or so, and the waves were somewhat choppy (2ft chop, they said) so there was a bit of a mini-game we played inside the seating area.   I’ll simply describe it as anti-Twister, where you tried to Avoid putting hands and feet in the coloured spots on the floor.  (I was surprised just how many people get seasick, since it is exciting to me, not illness-inducing at all)

When we got out approximately 25 miles from shore, we saw whales!!!!   The humpbacks were feeding, which was really neat.  They would blow little ‘bubble nets’ underwater, to encircle the schools of krill and little fish, then swim up into the circle of bubbles and fill their mouths before diving back down and doing it again elsewhere.   All told, we saw what the captain estimated at 15-20 whales in the surrounding area,  and at least 7 individual whales in our immediate location.   They identified one as “Anvil” but did not have too many clear fluke-shots from the bridge to positively ID others.

On the way back, around 1pm, the kid slept after finally crashing from being up since 3:30am.  The return trip to shore was much calmer as we were traveling with the waves, and a steady tailwind. Returned to port around 2:30.

After this, we went to the Boston Aquarium.  That is a really neat place, with a huge, HUGE tank in the middle, full of fish and sharks, and a few eels, and the usual “big tank” sort of occupants.  (video of shark to come!)

All around the bottom were four species of penguin, which was really neat.  The African penguin sounds almost exactly like a burro/donkey, which was very funny.

After the aquarium, we played in a big fountain in the area, which was probably my son’s favorite part of the whole trip.  Shows once again that the best things are [relatively] free!   The fountain was a big flat tiled area, with little holes all around it.  From time to time, jets of water would come shooting out of the holes, in somewhat random patterns, to heights around 15 feet or so.   The kids in the area loved running through the jets, or dashing under the spouts as they rained down again.   Luckily, we had spare clothes in the bus, but for a short time, the kid got to wear my wife’s very over-sized sweatshirt in order to cover his soaking bottom.

After the fountain, we realized we had about an hour or so before the bus arrived to take us home, so we visited Kitty O’Shea’s Irish Pub.  I had the most delicious Fish&Chips I think I’ve ever eaten in my entire life, topped by a frosty Guinness from the tap.  YUMMM!!

The bus arrived a bit late (around 7pm instead of 6:30), and most of the scouts drifted off pretty quickly.   I fell asleep for a little bit, but very restlessly due to the uncomfortable seats.   Still, when we arrived back home around midnight, I consider the trip a successful adventure.

And that real bed felt extra-welcoming when we finally sprawled into it at, fast asleep almost before our heads hit the pillow.

I’ve been doing a little meditative work for “The Circle of Shamans Without Borders” over the past two weeks. Not every day, but as best I can, and often closer to 10:00 pm than 7:00 pm on my timezone.  Still, it is something that at least lets me feel -slightly- better about ending my day.

I have a deep-rooted Dread (yes, with a capital D) regarding society today that I have tried to keep under wraps and dismissed as over-dramatic conspiracy-theory-ish folly.  Then again, I also think that dismissing such things is what got us to this point to begin with.   Thus, the unbalanced mood lately, and inability to focus on the details of things.

Recently, however, I found myself feeling altogether different about the whole topic of the Deepwater Oil disaster.

I was sitting outside last night, trying to visualize my opening ‘circle’ and was struck by a profoundly angry sky.  Physically, it was overcast and warm; a wonderful summery evening to sit outside.

Metaphorically (Etherically? Astrally?  Mentally?  I’m not really shamanic in my practices), it was an oppressive weight crushing me to the grass.   I cried.  Real little-kid-upset tears, at being berated so sternly by the Sky.  I was an ant, helpless and afraid, and scraping my meager scraps of glucose from the blades of grass and gathering dew while dreaming of building a fortress in the sandbox.   It hurt my heart, and cut my spirit.   The oil, it flows, and there’s nothing I could do about it, except be blamed for everything I did to cause it.  I was at fault.  Knowing even a single human being, made it my fault.

Honestly, it was scary as all heck, and something I’d prefer not to repeat again.  If that’s shamanic work, I’m not wont to continue it.  Yet, I think I should.

I should, because after being left feeling raped and shattered, I picked up the shards of Me and went back inside to get a drink of orange juice.  I needed something cold and soothing.   I began to feel Lighter then, and a strange sort of hopeful and bittersweet about the whole situation.

Like lancing a boil to drain the fluid before it infects the surrounding tissue, I felt relief, but not closure.

I’m left today at work with a sense that while there is nothing I can immediately do to affect the oil spill, I should continue to apply energies to the healing of the land.  It’s nature responding to humanity’s greed, and rather than fight upstream against the flow, I need to merely turn into the current and help steer away from the rocks below.

It sounds totally depressing to try typing into words, but I can’t help but feel better that it happened somehow.  Fish will die, coastlines will need cleaning, and a terrible tragedy has been unleashed.  I do not deny this.   I feel bad not feeling worse that it happened, though.

The cynic in me thinks maybe this waste of oil will speed along the endgame, so that it’s not quite as deep a trough we are sliding into? The optimist in me feels conflicted with the caring/feeling person in me that maybe lots of stuff dying will help more stuff stay alive?   (Hiroshima stopped the war, after all)

I’m not sure what I think.   It is almost a sort of Ennui, but more cynical, and resigned at Fate.

But I think a bit differently today than I have been.

Bear with things… it’s a weird river I’m rolling on…