Maebius Musings

You hear the term “One of those days” most times as a negative thing. Bad stuff happened, you know, it was one of those days? Well, I’m going to redefine the term in my mind. Today is Awesome. It’s one of those days!

This feeling I have today is probably,  (well, most definitely) a result of a workshop I attended this weekend, with Andrew Steed, Kat, Mary, David, Dorita, Molly, Mary, Carly(sp?), Vinny, Aylish, etc, and a myriad of smiling faces that I can picture in my head but would bore some of you readers who know them not.

I’ll have a de-briefing post about the whole firewalk and such later this week, but today, I’m concentrating on how awesome it is RIGHT NOW.

I woke up, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and as we staggered downstairs to eat breakfast, that kid of ours remarked “I Love Toast today, SHA!”

So, we sang some silly “YEAH TOAST” song, danced around the table as my wife and I got the butter and cinnamon for it, and had the dog happily confused with our antics.

I got to work, and was asked (only semi-jokingly) by my co-worker what they put in the Kool-Aid(tm) this past weekend, since I was apparently smiling too much, and had quite the spring in my step.    I never knew it was possible to smile too much.

Must be one of those days! 

2 Comments »

I’ve felt for the past few weeks now, that my spiritual practice is slightly more selfish and internalized than they could be.  This was most acutely felt (or rather not-felt) during this weeks Equinox.  I had set aside some time to go outside, enjoy the spring-like weather, and welcome the greenery and Life that was appearing around our farm. ( The geese arrived again, six of them this year!)    Yet, it felt a bit hollow and empty.

Oh sure, I’ve lit my candles, taken a few moments to admire and appreciate the budding life around me this spring, but there seems to be something missing.   I’ve fallen out of practice with Faerie-Play (for lack of a better word, since Worship seems the wrong connotation, so I’ll say Play, with the same inflection as capital-L-Love is used sometimes) and an attempt to re-strike that relationship gave me a pretty stern chastisement from the Otherkin camp for falling out of practice to begin with.  So, there’s one item on my to-do list this month.

Still, there’s another aspect of the Divine that I would like to re-connect to, and am not sure the best way to do so.   I want to say hello again to the Gods/Goddesses out there, Bored or otherwise.  Essentially, I would like to reaffirm a Path that includes something more discrete than “The Earth/Nature” (intentionally glossing over the depths of defining “Nature”).

I used to be very active in my Lutheran Church, and had a fairly solid understanding of God.  I redefined my concept of that being, and added other names to “Who is God” as I grew older and more pagan-minded. Still, I’ve never gotten really comfortable with other pantheons in popular use among the Pagani.  Celtic culture is really neat, but I don’t connect to Brigit or Lugh.  Norse Asatru is intellectually intriguing, but I have even less of a bond with Thor or Loki other than lip-service.  Likewise, the recent interest in Greek mythology (ala: Percy Jackson books) is fun reading, and scholarly, but I can not consider myself a student of Hellenismos.

I’ve done a bit of research with my family tree, which contains a fair chunk of ancestors deeply involved with PA Dutch Heathenism, and Hex-craft.  Yet again, my dabblings into that practice seem a bit forced and rote, rather than passionate and rewarding.

So,  here I am at a sort of crossroads.    I’ve got my current Practice and Path, which includes drum-circles, and gardening, and a rather down-to-earth subtle appreciation of The World We Live In, but I am feeling called more and more in my meditaitons to look towards Someone/Something.   The problem is I’m not sure who/what that is.

My question to the readership here is:   Other than continued practice with a particular set of Deities, is there a generalized way of opening myself up to inspiration?   As a (really bad) example, would I gather up an anhk and dagger, calling upon Ma’at or Nuit until something answers… or would I simply ask the spirits and Divine to enter in frith, and wait to see what particular name[s] pops into my head?

Of course, I already understand it’s a somewhat selfish question as well, wanting The Gods to start paying attention to Me…  Still, I’m more curious if I could narrow down my list of options for Me to start paying more attention to Them.

How did you find your current Path?

4 Comments »

Sorry in advance for a bit of half-hearted musings today. Been a hectic week, and I wanted to get something on e-paper today before it got hecticer. (yes, it’s a word, if I say it is *grin*)

Often in those self-help books and shows, and within a number of philosophical Spiritual-teachings, I have come across the concept of speaking your voice. Take Action. Stand up for what we believe, and all that. For many (most?) of us, I’m sure that sort of thing sounds great on paper and within a daily assertion, but the actual practice of Speaking Up gets pushed to the sidelines among the day to day chores. We don’t like being on stage, sticking out in a crowd, and such.

I’m no exception, but today I wanted to try a little experiment on voice, and would challenge my readers to try this once today, and let me know any thoughts you have after-wards.

Find a quiet space, like your car, or an empty house while showering, or such, and sing along with a song. In my case, it was in my car with the radio on to a local pop-station. Change channels until you gt a song you like, and vaguely know the words to. If you are in the shower or dusting the shelves at home, run a song through your head as you say the lyrics out loud.

For this challenge, I don’t want you to simply mumble along with it. Take a deep breath, sit/stand up straight, and belt out those notes. Doesn’t matter if your voice is scratchy or sounds like a drowning camel, or even Platinum Album material. No one is around, remember?

Ideally, if you are listening to the radio, you should be loud enough to not actually hear the real singer. Overrun the lyrics in your ears with the ones in your lungs. Yell it if you want, at least one verse, if not a whole song. If you are a bit stressed and can’t think of a song, just stick to sounding a Barbaric Yawp (first part of this video).

I mean really try it, as instructed. I’ll wait…

Then, after you are done, take a little internal assessment of yourself. Do you feel silly? Do you feel guilty or worried about the neighbors? Try to ignore that primary feeling and think again.

I’m guessing that even with any ego-ruled emotions bouncing around in your head, you feel just a bit better than you did before this activity. Perhaps not much, but maybe your shoulders slump a smidgeon less for the moment, or that nagging cough feels a little less nagging this particular minute.

Be honest with yourself.

I will readily admit I don’t consistently set aside time each day for healthy things like meditation or involved spiritual musings. Yet, I wonder how much effect it would have if everyone took 1 minute to just yell or sing each day? To sound our barbaric Yawp, and sing a song of yourself.

Catharsis is underrated.

4 Comments »

No words needed here.
This was an amazingly beautiful and heart-tugging PSA about seat belts.

1 Comment »

This saturday, I was driving to meet a friend for dinner when I struck and killed a deer. My new car (3899 miles *sigh*) is a bit broken up, and the young button-buck was killed.

It may sound gruesome to some, but we kept the deer and are in the process of preparing it for venison this week.

Additionally, I have plans for a number of bones (and the skull) if I have success in cleaning/preparing them, which is a learning process for me. Prior animal bones I have had access to were found outside and pre-bleached by time, weather, and biological processes.

My pondering now, (and question to any readers here) is how to best preserve the animal remains, both in the literal physical sense, and a more spiritual/shamanic/etc sense.

I’ve honored the spirit of the deer with a quiet candlelit ritual saturday evening, but I’m completely learning-as-I-go in the idea of actually ‘harvesting’ the other parts respectfully. Wish me luck!

My dog has already requested a leg bone, and another is destined for a “talking stick” type of scepter. One rib popped up in my dreams last night as Useful, but no details as to the final use. The skull will hopefully preserve well and be gifted to a friend of mine with a great affinity to Deer. The rest, will most likely join the compost pile and garden for added calcium and to treat the nibbling field mice in our barn.

The car will be repaired, my own physical health is unharmed. I’d like to make the most of the noble animal who was ‘sacrificed’ in the accident.

2 Comments »

This week at the UU church I [still] attend, was an informal service whereupon members of the congregation had been invited to share a short excerpt from a favorite book, and how it inspired them.

One lady read from Grapes of Wrath, and shared how it changed her outlook on Humanity and Humility, reading of the horrid selfishness of people below their station. She had grown up in a wealthy NewEngland community, and formerly looked down her nose at “poor farmers” until that book made her re-think things.

One man shared a bit from Oral Microbiology and how it changed his view of our communal relationship with ‘the good microbes’.

Yet others shares inspiring sermons, quoted from Martin Luther King, Ghandi, and more traditional “English Literature” such as Flowers for Algernon, and Where the Red Fern Grows.

However, by far my favorite was an older lady who shared “The Hobbit” as her favorite book. She explained briefly that we adults are often told to get our heads out of the clouds, and how this “kids book” showed that even as an older adult, it was “OK to have an imagination”. She also referenced the new movie Avatar, as an example of world-building freedoms and whimsy-wonder.

Instead of reading an excerpt from The Hobbit, however, she admitted that she once submitted music to a “Fanzine” on Middle earth back in the 80s. She had set the first parts of Galadriel’s Song of Eldamar to music, and then launched into a lilting A Cappella song, the lyrics of which are below.

To say the fact I could honestly answer “heard a lady sing in elvish” to the question of What I Did on Sunday, is awesome.

This UU thing may not be entirely spiritually ritualistically filling, but it’s still a fun community to be growing a part of.

(My son also has now expressed interest in going as he misses the other kids. Also, he has learned not to jokingly blow out the small candle I light in the evenings after starting to understand the reasons for lighting a candle “Representing the Love and Mystery that some people call God/dess”)

Galadriel’s Song of Eldamar
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew:
Of wind I sang, a wind there came and in the branches blew.
Beyond the Sun, beyond the Moon, the foam was on the Sea,
And by the strand of Ilmarin there grew a golden Tree.
Beneath the stars of Ever-eve in Eldamar it shone,
In Eldamar beside the walls of Elven Tirion.
There long the golden leaves have grown upon the branching years,
While here beyond the Sundering Seas now fall the Elven-tears.
O Lórien! The Winter comes, the bare and leafless Day;
The leaves are falling in the stream, the River flows away.
O Lórien! Too long I have dwelt upon this Hither Shore
And in a fading crown have twined the golden elanor.
But if of ships I now should sing, what ship would come to me,
What ship would bear me ever back across so wide a Sea?

Ai! laurië lantar lassi súrinen,
Yéni únótimë ve rámar aldaron!
Yéni ve lintë yuldar avánier
mi oromardi lisse-miruvóreva
Andúnë pella, Vardo tellumar
nu luini yassen tintilar i eleni
ómaryo airetári-lírinen.

The melody was vaguely akin to “Spancel Hill” (video link)

1 Comment »

A short quote today, which made life quite more bearable at work. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

“Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”
-G. K. Chesterton