Maebius Musings

Note: Message today is related to World of Warcraft, an online game I play with great frequency.

Way back, I had posted a bit of history with my characters, and expressed interest and a goal of achieving “Moonkin form” on my druid.

I admit, I forgot to blog about that day, but it has come and gone. My druid Pohatu is currently lvl 63 and has now essentially mastered all the shifting forms with the exception of Epic SwiftFlight form. This is essentially the same as regular flight form, just faster and a bit prettier-looking.

So, I’m enjoying the druid as a ‘Tank’ far more than I thought I would. It’s hectic, being a new tank in the midst of random overpowered DPS. But random overpowered Healers being grouped with me makes it a little more ‘bearable’.
Tanking is frenetic, stressful, and ultimately quite satisfying when you know that your character stood face-to-toe with a Big Bad Boss-monster and kept the rest of the party safe.

/Rawr!
Here’s a little photo gallery of how Pohatu usually looks (Tauren flight-form gets the brown model, Elves get the purply-black one)

Pohatu has the greyish Bear form in the lower left of This Image.

Likewise, he’s the dark grey/black cat form in the upper right of this here image.

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A bit late for the new-moon musing I had planned to write this as, so forgive a hectic life and sleepy shift-changes (again).

Recently, some relatives of mine who live in a rather suburban town of 9000 people, expressed great joy and wonder at the recent small explosion of wildlife in their yard. They have a small bit of grass to mow, and a tiny creek burbling in the backyard, which has always been home to muskrats and ducks (the muskrats go through annual trap-removals, but always migrate back in to mess up the yard).

Lately, a hawk/falcon has made it’s aerie on the block’s tall pines, Great blue Herons have been seen wading in the feeble stream hunting minnows, and the neighbor’s house got an infestation of rats, with rumors of a raccoon lurking around the garbage pails at night.

On the plus side of this, my relatives happily tell tales of bird watching, squirrel feeding, and muskrat/rodent removal. All that wildlife up-close is great for semi-retired folks sitting on their back porch with a cup of coffee. The nepphews get to share soem of the joy I remember in my youth of feeding squirrels and watching BlueJays fight over peanuts, along with the more “exotic” Herons and hawks swooping around on rare occassions.

Sadly, while I can’t help but smile and delight in these wonders of nature while I visit, there’s a part of me that is saddened and worried for that same wildlife.

They see abundance and natural wonder.
I see habitat decline and forced migrations to a suburban environment. It doesn’t help that the hill I once stood atop of to stargaze with my father in my pre-teen years is now a development of sterile townhouse-clone-rows.

I like stars as much as I like seeing wild birds and critters.

I also prefer going to visit them, instead of the reverse.

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(Note to the person who asked for this, sorry, I wrote it a few days ago and had it stuck in Draft-mode. Here ya go finally.)

My wife and son have been taking Karate at a wonderful dojo near us for about two months now, and it’s awesome to see how the kid especially looks forward to classes and practices at home without any prompting. Finding that ‘thing’ you like to do is an important part of a healthy lifestyle.

However, what I was musing about is not finding a hobby, but the feeling that happens when you formally decide to make long-term effort in it. More specifically the moment of Shift when you make the decision and act upon it.

In our case, the financial outlay to attend karate for 12 months, for two people, somewhat shocked my wife. She was not concerned as drastically with the dollar amount (though that was part of it and affected a vacation plan as we shuffled the checkbook around). Instead, she kept mentioning the fact that she feels really weird/scared/impressed/burdened/freed by the fact she promised to take up an activity, twice a week, for 52 weeks, and WILL be held accountable to her promise by an “authority figure” she respects (the Sensei).

Her reaction led me to ponder other areas in life with Pivotal Moments, and how finding them can be used along a Spiritual Path.

Consider things like jumping out of an airplane, or cliff diving. Those I’ve spoke to about such activities (I’ve gone skydiving) admit more often than not that the actual freefall and landing is great, but the reason they do it is that moment of Can’t-take-it-back asthey first spring from a solid platform into the open air. The feeling of Commitment, of Willful Action is where it’s at.

I think on a deep level, that sane sense of Decision is at work in most profound Spiritual experiences, regardless of how the practitioner explains it. Devout christians often speak of “Dying to Christ” at some dark stage of life, and being lifted up again in Hope/Love due to that dedicated abandonment. Similarly, a wiccan casting circles, or Drawing Down the Moon (or any number of spiritual traditions having similar “ego-stripping”) reacts similarly in allowing the Goddess to manifest in them.

When we let go, or first step off the platform of solid daily-grind, we usually can expect Great Things. Maybe not always Safe things, but Great Changes. Harnessing that Change for a better life is the goal of any Spiritual practice, I often think.

Even when the Willful Action is meant to harm, as in the case of a suicide, I’ve heard anecdotes from survivors regarding a moment of clarity/regret/freedom felt when the act of jumping, cutting, or swallowing is performed, and before the pain or darkness creeps up. I know of one person who admits being glad they attempted suicide, not because they almost died, but for that sudden Eureka of Life-worth-living even as they tried to end their life.

There are probably hundreds of quotes along these same lines, and is a big part of many Eastern religions.

To lose yourself is to find it.

“Banish the ego and develop the spirit of surrender. You will then experience Bliss.”

Or as I prefer to think of it,
“If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel. On your knees boy”

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I have been attending services at our local UU church for just about two months now, and have even helped out in the kids program after showing an aptitude/interest for “kid friendliness” playing outside with my own son after the services. It’s a nice place!

However, the more I am studying up on UU principles, the more I fear that initial “Yay My Group!” feeling I had towards them is shifting to a sideways “eh, nice group” feeling.

It is nothing against the church. The services are varied and interesting, and welcoming of all manner of faiths. Over the weeks I’ve met a “hardcore wiccan” and a muslim from Pakistan who all meet up for community and fellowship each sunday. The coffee-chatter time is enlightening, as are the somewhat open-ended “sermons”. Yet, for myself, that openness does not fill the void I am finding in my spiritual practice.

I initially started ‘going to church’ again in order to help my son experience a faith-based community and education. In this regard, things are Great. For myself, the lack of steady ritual, beyond a simple candle-lighting, feels almost shallow. As if there is definitely spirit there, but not quite the Divine Spirit (capital S).

I am thinking the flow and content of the services is intentional, to allow for all faiths to pray as they see fit, and the vague wordings towards “Spirit” or “Higher Power” are well suited for personal perspective. Yet, in allowing all paths in, the road is over-broad and unrestrained.

I find I miss my old Lutheran services, or at least parts of them. The hymns, the processions, and the Pageantry of it all is distinctly lacking in the UU church (by design?). Yet it is what which drew me to serve as an assistant minister as a youth. I felt the power and draw of United Ritual, and knew it to be Godly.

Later, when my Path led be outside definitive Christianity, I simply changed the image of God in my head. I realized, deep down, I still held on to the appeal of Ritual.

Perhaps this is why I love drum-circles so much. While the rhythms and ‘songs’ are spontaneous, there is an almost standardized “flow” to them that seems ritualized, regardless of the participants. Likewise, some of my most powerful Spiritual Experiences have been during a more formalized ritual.

Going back to the topic of the UU church, I still get the sense that there are groups operating within the UU congregation/community, but have not integrated with them yet to feel welcome and invited. Almost every weekday, the church has something happening, yoga, Spiral Scouts, CUUPS, garden club, Bingo night, etc.

I still feel there is some potentized Spirit available within that church community, if I can shed my “visitor” feeling. However, the actual sunday services have gone from being spiritual meetings to Community meetings. This does not discredit them for what they are. It merely took me a few months to realize my own goals were slightly different than what I originally sought out by going to Church.

In summary, I’m discovering that I still need to find a “church” outside of “church”.

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Congrats to the kid, for earning his Bobcat badge in Cub Scouts!

He was so proud he rushed home to show mom the cool new patch he gets to sew on his uniform, and a plastic paw-print to start hanging beads from for extra elective award-thingies.

I’ll direct you Here for details on what the badge means.

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