Maebius Musing

Inspired by this blog post (from Dancing down the Moon) …specifically the line “It’s grueling work that slowly chips away at your established patterns and illusions, and sometimes it’s painful, because in order to transform something you must first invoke it.“

For as long as I can remember, there has always existed, in my inner-most mind, a strange relationship with the ‘Me’ that walks around at work or cleans up the dishes at home, and the “Me” that envisions himself drumming at bonfires, meditating amongst pristine wooded glens, and otherwise being all Spiritual-and-Stuff. The two just never seem to completely mesh, and any ecstatic experiences seem to rationalize themselves over time into a form of “Glimpsing that other Me” instead of becoming integrated as “this IS me, but better”.
Perhaps this same ability to envision myself as something far different and more grandiose than “reality” is one explanation for my love of roleplaying games, and other flights of fantasy evidenced in my book and movie collections? If puting my mind to a character, I can lose the outside mundane world and step into the role I build around myself.

But the dichotomy is there, and lately, as the season wanes into autumn, my thoughts are drifting once again to this type of reflective musing. Why is there such a breakdown? Is it the same for many people searching for Truth? (I think so, which is why so few people honestly say they found it.) Continue Reading »

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Over at Between Old and New Moons, there is a list of questions “for pagans about paganism“. I agree with some of the comments that these questions really deserve a blog post about each one. Very well thought out and written, mahud!

I’ll tackle them below….

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I’ve been pondering a pretty deep and vaguely unformed sentiment lately, which I hope does not come across as fanatical, or as anti-monotheistic as I fear it will. I was once a minister in our Lutheran church. God/Jehova is as real to me as Odin, and I think that Jesus guy was a pretty cool dude for his part in history. So if you read the commentary below, please consider it is not meant to be “god-bashing” in any real way.

It is to be a mental exercise, to help me flesh out some ideas by translating them into concrete words. And as anyone with honest thoughts about spiritual matters can attest, words often tend to fall short, or limit ‘Grokking” in such matters. I’m not as eloquent as a scholarly Bard, so I’ll try to keep the phrasing from being too loaded with unwanted connotations.

I also must admit to a slanted bias towards the inner workings of Christianity, since I was raised in that faith, and have only dabbled slightly in Islam, Judaism, Pastafarianism, and other monotheistic faiths. So there may be deeper connotations there that I am unaware of… Continue Reading »

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Vacations are a wonderful time to step back, relax, and ponder great mysteries of life…or simply ponder nothing and re-ground. It’s a time to avoid the daily stress of work, and do whatever the heck you feel like today. Very zen, I suppose, living more in NOW than the usual “first this, then this” routines I do at work.

And this vacation was perfect for that type of thing. We went camping (details see post above). Nothing planned other than arrival and departure. The filler space was at our leisure, and it. was. good.
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In the spirit if my good friend Nettle’s Blog, who posts her monthly goals and then does a follow-up at the end to describe the actual results of the practice…Here goes my new monthly posting.

Firstly, let me say that May became sort of non-existent as far as these official goals went…so the same goals apply for June with the exception of festival being switched out for more seasonal fa[i]re…

Not sure what happened but not only did the days slip away faster than I realized, the whole goal-concept completely vacated my brain, so I didn’t even think I was ‘forgetting’ to do anything.

Goals for May/June:

Earth Path: At least once each week spend fifteen minutes or more in direct contact with the natural world. Read at least one books on the natural history of the area. Make one change in your lifestyle in order to take less from the Earth and give more back. Plant at least one tree.

Did a few lunch-breaks, but work got hectic and swingy-shifted a lot this month. Plan to be more mindful of such things this month. Still have to hit the library in my “free time” and see what local books are out there. Attempted to persuade the wife to try cutting back on paper towels and use regular cloth ones..no luck there. Still, have gotten much better at turning off lights, computer, and such when not in use! Trees doing well.

Sun Path: Celebrate the year!

Garden is now tilled, 1/2 planted and various other fixer-up projects are well under way! June bonfire and drum-meditation planned!
Moon Path: Meditate, daily if possible. Also practice some form of movement meditation at least once a week.

Actually did pretty decent on the meditations. Averaging three times a week. No movement stuff yet, but only because in the back of my mind all the garden work kinda counts for this. It’s grounding, cardio-athletic at times, and such. Continue in this regard next month.
Spiral Paths: …to be determined. Since I’m not a fully vested AODA participant yet, I am still torn on which spiral to work on, so I’m going to leave May open to experimenting with a few different ones. Leaning towards Magic specifically, and possibly Sacred Geometry. Will obviously continue learning my herbalism, but I’m not counting that as Healing work since it’s more an ongoing practice of mnie anyway and doesn’t feel like it should count as “learning new thing” which I see the Spirals as. …. Also, plan on having a working proto-type of my Web-game by the end of the month, though that is not exactly the same sort of thing the Spirals entail.

Still thinking the magic spiral, or perhaps divination…Will discuss more with friends to see what rings most ‘true’ or useful. Will be sending in the official membership check in the next week or so!

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